Week 22: Home for the Holiday

A full week has passed since my last post, and I am happy to report that thus far, our little guy has stayed put in his mommy incubator. We were released from the hospital at the beginning of the week, and Tommi is now relaxing in her bed. It's a pretty comfortable bed, which is fortunate for TJ, because she will be spending the remainder of her pregnancy there (which we hope is at least another 10 weeks or so). The 4th of July is Tommi's favorite holiday, so we're crossing our fingers that we can see some fireworks from the bedroom window ... 'cause you know that with a pregnant wife on bed rest, there ain't gonna be no fireworks inside the bedroom, if you know what I'm sayin' (uncalled for, I know, but I couldn't resist).

OK, seriously now...

We've had several days now to ruminate on the questions I posed in the previous post. We are not naive enough to think that, in a week's time, we could learn all that God intended for us to learn from this experience. But Tommi pointed out a New Testament verse the other day that has embodied much of what we've seen over the past week: "... But we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; and patience, experience; and experience, hope." (Rom. 5:3-4). We have certainly had some tribulation that has tested our patience, but that has also brought about some tremendous experiences of God's love and let hope take root. Two noteworthy examples:

• We have been overwhelmed by the kindness and generosity of family members and friends. Both our mothers immediately jumped in to help with Grace, and enough of our siblings and close friends in San Diego have offered to come to San Diego or have Gracie visit them that we already have the next 6 weeks mapped out! Even more importantly, we have been humbled and touched by the prayers of so many who care for us (many of whom have commented on this board). It's hard to describe the strength we have felt as a result of those prayers, but please know how appreciative we are for your supplications on our behalf.


• We have also been so grateful for the "tender mercies" of the Lord that we have witnessed recently. I had a very time-consuming transaction at work that was completed just hours before Tommi got the orders to go to the hospital, and gave me the freedom to focus on my family instead of stressing over work demands. And, just two weeks before all this went down, we moved to a quiet La Jolla apartment that is 3 miles from the hospital and close to the ocean, so Tommi can get some nice ocean breezes through the bedroom window. Speaking of the bedroom window, I've attached a picture of the view of the San Diego temple we wake up to each day. If you've got to spend the whole day in bed, it's not too bad of a sight, is it?

Well, I promise to post updates at least weekly from here on out. I know these last two posts have been a little intense, so I appreciate you indulging us. I anticipate that future posts will be much more lighthearted, but we would feel unappreciative if we didn't share some of the thoughts and feelings that have buoyed us up over the past two weeks.

Till Week 23...

"All these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good"

Hey there family & friends:

It's Russ, with a rare post on this blog. But I thought I would try to be productive while I sit here in Tommi's hospital room as she rests.

Our unborn baby boy is having a tough time. Although Tommi's only 21 weeks along, he appears to have decided that it's time to come out (impatient like his father, I guess). We've been in the hospital since Tues afternoon, and yesterday morning the doctors performed a procedure on TJ that's called a "rescue cerclage." I'll let those of you who are so inclined look on WedMD or Google for the details, but suffice it to say that we've learned more than we ever wanted to know about translucent membranes, inflammed uterine walls and cervical incompetence.

I hate to use tired cliches, but he's put us on quite an emotional roller coaster over the past 72 hours. I can't say how many times this kid has "walked into the valley of the shadow of death," only to defy the odds and pull through. Without disclosing any details that might be potentially embarrassing to my wife (haha--though after the past few days she will probably tell you that she has no dignity left), the doctors have told us on several occasions that we should mentally prepare ourselves for the worst, that the odds aren't in our favor, and that if this or that happens it's "game over." But as of 10:45 am on June 26th, he's still holding on.

There have been more than a few times where we've felt like we've been bent so much we're on the verge of breaking. What does God have in store for us and our unborn son? Why might He allow us to go through so much turmoil? What are we expected to learn from all this? I don't pretend to know the answers to these questions, but I do know that the only reason a God that loves us so much could bear to watch any of His children suffer is because some stretching and bending, and perhaps some pain, is required for spiritual growth. As God said to someone who went through more trials & tribulations than most of us could fathom, "...all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good." I only hope that TJ and I can stay focused on trying to learn whatever it is that we are supposed to learn through all of this, and remain positive and faithful ... no matter the outcome.

I can't finish this post, though, without mentioning three things:

First, how amazing Tommi has been through all of this. She has been through the wringer, both emotionally and phyisically, but just keeps wiping away the tears and moving on. If this little guy stays incubated through the next few weeks, I promise that I will always remind him of what his mother went through to bring him into this world (especially during the ungrateful teenage years).

Second, how impressed I am with Gracie's resilience. Whatever we throw at this little girl, she rolls with the punches. She has become such a hit with the nurses, that each time we have a new nurse, she asks, "When am I going to be able to meet this Gracie of yours that I've heard so much about." They even dressed her up with gloves and a hair net...

And third, how grateful both Tommi and I are for such wonderful, caring family and friends, who have consciously made the decision to take this ride with us. We cannot express how appreciative we are of their love, support and the sacrifices they're willing to make for us.

Creation

I don't claim to be very creative. In fact, I find myself looking to others to even spark creations in my head. However, our latest creation could not have been inspired by others--this one took some effort and patience on mine and Russ' behalf. May we introduce to you whom Grace has deemed "Baby Rhino" ... Coming to pictures on blog November 4th. Yes we are preggers!! We are three months along and I am already feeling big, gulp. Gracie's only stipulation to the joyous event is that (and I quote), "It better be a girl, I am thinking in my brain it will be a girl!" We think she is pre-planning a soriorty for later years.

Both our children have come as such a wonderful surprise in our lives, we are humbled yet again.

Is this how you sleep?

These past few days I feel as though I sleep like this ... I wake up and it is as if I never had gone to bed. Oh can I mention that my hair looks like I have had my head stuck out the window of a moving train, oh so pretty.The best part of it all is that the hairdo gives my sweetie a great laugh in the morning. Wonder why I can't sleep.

V Day ... be prepared!!

V day is almost here !!!! Why not make this Valentines Day one to remember. Here are a few ideas that I thought were unique and fun. Remember this year Valentines is on a Saturday so you have all day with your sweetheart:

• Borrow a puppy and walk around the park with hot chocolate
• Rent a tandem bike and ride it at the beach or park
• Fly a Kite
• Build a fort and do "it" (after the kids are asleep of course)
• Challenge eachother to find a song that reminds you of the other and share the lyrics over dinner. Sounds cheesy but I promise it is cool. Print the lyrics and frame them for your bedroom.
• Gondola ride at the beach http://www.gondolacompany.com/
• Sunset picnic with chocolate covered strawberries
• Cut up a bunch of hearts and for every heart put I love you more than ... sleeping in, pedicures, warm days etc.
• Or just do "it". :)

Share your ideas I would love to hear them!!! Have a fun rememberable Valentines day this year I am sure the Mister will love it.

2009 New year, new changes, new me

Happy New Year!!! Are you making New Year's Resolutions?

Mine = Kiss Russ ten times a day. Bring back old fashion love. Get on the ground and play with my child more. Grow a baby or adopt whichever happens first. Photography. Dress like a french woman. Grow my hair out. Get back to my natural hair color (gulp). Read books in bed. Make fabulous Sunday dinners. Care less about my critics. Get over my fear of public speaking. Write more letters and get off the email train thus including thank-you notes. Take morning walks. Plant a garden. Decrease my ecological footprint. Hang out with someone new at least once a month. Kick sugar to the curb. Learn one fabulous word every other day. Get in touch with my hispanic roots by learning the language. Save more money. Travel.

Gracieisms

"Daddy, why is Gagie-goo sick, do his tonsticles hurt?"

This comes after we tell her that her friend Gage has tonsillitis.

I love the funny things kids say, share yours with me so I can laugh some more.

Photography New Years Resolution

Okay so I have a bazillion yes you read that right BAZILLION new years resolutions this year but the one I want to pay special attention to in this post is my resolution to get my dang photography up and going. I have been saying this for a few years now and this is the year. So with that that in mind I am calling on the help of all my dear sweet friends and family to help me with a name. I am not super cheesy so please keep that in mind. My future photo business will be for individual portraints, family portraits, toddler, infant pregnancy you get the jist, please keep that in mind as well. The winner will get an awesome prize mailed to them!! Goodluck, be creative and have fun with it!!

My heart is full

My cup runneth over, I have yet to pin point the reason for this overwhelming feeling- maybe it is the season, maybe it is my husbands amazing ability to take care of me just so, perhaps it was because my child smiled at me when she woke up or simply a combination of all of thee above. All I know is I want to remember these things, I want to always feel this feeling of gratefulness to be here enjoying life with my sweetness and little boogs. The family I have created means the world to me and I don't want it to go without saying how much joy you fill it with.

Latest Adventures ... (Post by Grace)

Just a little update on the goings on here in SD.

My mom and dad found a rope swing that I love--can you tell by the smile on my face?

Halloween was a blast with my cousin Masser -Masser man and my beastie Miss Star. Mason was a turtle and I was a Utes cheerleader and Miss Star was a Mermaid. My mom said, "No," to the cheerleading outfit--guess who won? Mason lives close to me so I get to see him a lot. I love it and I know mom and dad love seeing Uncle Stevers and Aunt Lizzard, too. I like to watch out for Mason so that he doesn't get hurt. I think my care and concern stresses my mom out--she says I am bossy with him.

We moved again. I love my new house but not the stairs--they make my legs tired so I usually cry at the bottom of them until someone carries me up. It makes my mom say "e-gads" a lot.

We have a park by our house that shoots water out of the ground so kids can run through it, and a BIG grassy hill that you can roll down on your side. Can you believe that even in November we are able to run outside in our swimsuits?

Lastly, my new favorite joy in life is ballons. We let them go after we play with them because "Uncle Rory likes them."

Santa is coming soon so I better go do good girl stuff so he visits me ... ciao for now.

why I love three

I Three year old's ...

Turns out that two isn't so terrible, truly three has it over two as far as the terrible category is concerned. I guess it is not so much that it is "terrible" as much as it is "trying". I have taken it upon myself to "interview"moms with three year old's to see if three is as "trying" for them as it is for me. I would say 4 out of 5 moms agreed. The most common response is "I loved two, they were fun and went along with anything you said, not three." or "oh the drama of a three year old, where to start." So here is a top ten list why I love three year old's.

10. The sudden lack of remembering they are potty trained. Thus includes peeing pants while standing in front of the potty at Unlce John's house and the occasional walk of shame around the corner, tears flowing , pants wet and a cute little friend announcing the obvious

"Miss. Tommi I think Gwacie peed her pants."

9. "Mommy, I am done going potty come wipe me"

8. While styling the misses hair finding a chunk of it missing. When asked did you cut your hair she responds "no" when asked again she says " yes, I think I did but not today." Oh great that makes it easier to pull your hair up in ponytails.

7. "Can I sleep in your bed, I think mine is not yours." Oh yes, every night would be a sleep over if I didn't enjoy sleeping so much.

6. The sudden urge to undress and run around naked especially when you have ten minutes to get somewhere and you just got them ready.

5. Sentences that don't make sense: " I'm calling a j number for a j number for today is Sunday" HUH?

4. Walking on the counters as if they were sidewalks. This usually occurs when I am cooking so you can imagine the horror, hot food + clumsy footed toddler = stress.

3. It really should be phrased the "Honesty of a three year old" not two, THREE. "Mom I think you breathe stinks. " Mom, I think your bum bum is big." By the way this never happens at home it is always in public for the pure enjoyment of strangers.

2. I want Grammie or Grandma Kathy or my favorit Aunt Kenni (my sister) just anyone other than this monster of a mother who is trying to keep me out of harms way.

1. And the number one reason I love three year old's ... Drama, Drama and more Drama. Everything is dramatic from eating breakfast to taking a bath to explaining why she doesn't want to eat strawberries or simply going down the slide

Three is fun but it is certainly trying!!! Goodluck to anyone with a child under three, your day is coming. I say the only comfort in being in this boat is that every parent goes through it!!!

Utah Man Sir, Utah Man Am I!!

Our Utah trip provided more than just catching up with family members and fall weather, by fluke our Brother and Sis in law (Jen & Dan) were able to muster us up some Utes tickets. My husband is generally a pretty happy guy but you haven't seen happy on Russ's face until you have seen him at a Utes game. Not only were we able to go to the game but we were also able to call it a date. You haven't seen happy on my face until I get a babysitter I can trust, my wonderful mom took the misses which is a rare occasion being that we live far from the comforts and conveniences of home. The game did not dissapoint either, we couldn't have asked for a better showing from our team!! Thanks again to the Purdies it was a blast to be there!! Ma' you rock, I know you had a ton going on that day to!!

the long and winding road ...

My oldest brothers is some what of a saint to me. Not only has he experienced some major pitfalls in life but through most of it he has been able to lift his head high and overcome them. I had the opportunity to stay with him during my trip to Utah and I have a renewed sense of hope and understanding. So here is a nod to my hero of a big bro John.

Ever since we were little John was kind of a pest to me he would follow me around being sure to latch on to my social scene. He always made sure to pester me an shove my face in my birthday cake or for no good reason smack me and pretend nothing happened while I got my butt chewed out for being a whiner. As a thank you to me for allowing such behavior from a sibling he would make sure I made it to my classes safely (I had a tendency to cry a lot when at school), that the neighborhood bully Matt (that I egged on from time to time) would remember his place, remind me of the benefits of keeping the rules in mom and dad's house and my most favorite characteristic ... no matter the cost John was always bruttely honest with me from my hair to my life choices.


At the young age of 21 John suffered injuries from a snowboarding accident that has since then left him quadriplegic. I remember our families first reaction "of all the people for this to happen to." It seemed that 21 should be a highlight of a boys life. John instead was learning how to breathe on his own again, taking in the teaching of how to maneuver a wheelchair with his head an simply just how to bend his fingers. There is a bright side of all this hardship. Through it all John has learned about the incredible powers of personal strength and self worth by overcoming the odds . John lives on his own, graduated from SLCC college (first of our family) and hopes to return to get his teaching degree. He currently works at an elementary school teaching under privilages kids. Above all this he is an awesome Uncle to my little one. He has shown her so much diversity and love for all things different in life. I love that because of him my child does not gauk or wonder why we are all so different she just excepts it.

You never realize why you are dealt the trials you are but John has shown us how to overcome them and embrace them for they are truly stepping stones to learn from. I love you John-John, thanks for the memories. Incase you are wondering about the picture, we had the opportunity of playing BINGO with the residents in his apartment building, who would have thought bingo would be so much fun!!

My Besties ... I got to see my most favorite girls in the world while I was up in Utah last week!! I never get to see both of my cousins but this time we got to hang just like old times. I have watched these two girls grow up and they are not only cousins but truly my bestest buds. I just love them and their fun energy!!!

Megan (to my left) is the sweetest person you will ever meet in your life, truly a gem. She has the most contagious laugh in the world.

Kathryn (to my right) is and always will be the strongest woman on the planet. She has so much strength and courage. She is always up for fun and makes me laugh so hard I pee my pants.

I love you my besties, I miss all our hang out times and the laughter you bring to my life!!!

There was an old lady ...

While driving in the car reading "there was an old lady who swallowed a bat," to Gracie Ann
(halloween version of "old lady who swallowed a spider")
Grace kindly (uh-hmm) said "excuse me mom and dad, you have to say her hampster died."
Those of you who know this song know that the true version is
"Perhaps she'll die"
Our new favorite version of an old time classic.