Thursday, June 25, 2009

"All these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good"

Hey there family & friends:

It's Russ, with a rare post on this blog. But I thought I would try to be productive while I sit here in Tommi's hospital room as she rests.

Our unborn baby boy is having a tough time. Although Tommi's only 21 weeks along, he appears to have decided that it's time to come out (impatient like his father, I guess). We've been in the hospital since Tues afternoon, and yesterday morning the doctors performed a procedure on TJ that's called a "rescue cerclage." I'll let those of you who are so inclined look on WedMD or Google for the details, but suffice it to say that we've learned more than we ever wanted to know about translucent membranes, inflammed uterine walls and cervical incompetence.

I hate to use tired cliches, but he's put us on quite an emotional roller coaster over the past 72 hours. I can't say how many times this kid has "walked into the valley of the shadow of death," only to defy the odds and pull through. Without disclosing any details that might be potentially embarrassing to my wife (haha--though after the past few days she will probably tell you that she has no dignity left), the doctors have told us on several occasions that we should mentally prepare ourselves for the worst, that the odds aren't in our favor, and that if this or that happens it's "game over." But as of 10:45 am on June 26th, he's still holding on.

There have been more than a few times where we've felt like we've been bent so much we're on the verge of breaking. What does God have in store for us and our unborn son? Why might He allow us to go through so much turmoil? What are we expected to learn from all this? I don't pretend to know the answers to these questions, but I do know that the only reason a God that loves us so much could bear to watch any of His children suffer is because some stretching and bending, and perhaps some pain, is required for spiritual growth. As God said to someone who went through more trials & tribulations than most of us could fathom, "...all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good." I only hope that TJ and I can stay focused on trying to learn whatever it is that we are supposed to learn through all of this, and remain positive and faithful ... no matter the outcome.

I can't finish this post, though, without mentioning three things:

First, how amazing Tommi has been through all of this. She has been through the wringer, both emotionally and phyisically, but just keeps wiping away the tears and moving on. If this little guy stays incubated through the next few weeks, I promise that I will always remind him of what his mother went through to bring him into this world (especially during the ungrateful teenage years).

Second, how impressed I am with Gracie's resilience. Whatever we throw at this little girl, she rolls with the punches. She has become such a hit with the nurses, that each time we have a new nurse, she asks, "When am I going to be able to meet this Gracie of yours that I've heard so much about." They even dressed her up with gloves and a hair net...

And third, how grateful both Tommi and I are for such wonderful, caring family and friends, who have consciously made the decision to take this ride with us. We cannot express how appreciative we are of their love, support and the sacrifices they're willing to make for us.