Lessons Learned

Today my dad and I had the opportunity to give Noah a name and a blessing in the NICU. Doesn't seem appropriate to blog about those types of things, but suffice it to say it was really special. I'm grateful for a father that made a special trip down here just to participate (he hasn't missed a grandchild's blessing yet), and for the priesthood that allows us to bless our children.

I think it's time that I turn blogging duties back to Tommi, who's much more creative than I am anyway. But before leaving the blogosphere, I wanted to mention a few things I've learned (or, in some cases, re-learned) over the past few months:

Miracles happen. We've related how, on several different occasions, we thought we'd lost Noah. But just before Tommi's release from the hospital last week, her doctor came into the room and confessed that, at the time the rescue cerclage was placed, he thought the pregnancy would last--at most--a week longer. He couldn't explain how Noah made it to 30 weeks. "For with God nothing shall be impossible." (Luke 1:37) Truth is, both of our children have arrived in quite miraculous ways.

My wife is much stronger than she thought she was.

Respect for single parents. Tommi certainly had it worse than I did during the 10-week bed rest ordeal. But during that time, I gained a tremendous amount of respect for single parents. Wake up ... get kid up ... shower ... get kid up again ... force feed breakfast to kid ... get dressed ... get kid dressed ... take kid to school / day care ... go to work ... pick up kid from school / day care ... make dinner ... clean up ... get kid to bed ... go to bed ... then start all over again. Doing it for 10 weeks? Totally manageable. Doing it for 20+ years? Wow.

Unconditional Love. Two aspects to this: 1) a realization that you don't have to "share" your love when you have a second child -- your capacity to love just grows; and 2) confirmation that your love is the same for each of your children, regardless of how they came to you.

Patience.

Accepting help from others. Tommi & I are pretty independent people, and while we are happy to help others, we have a harder time accepting help. But I can't even fathom how we could have done this without friends, family members and ward members who were willing to help us out. There's no way we could repay them, but hopefully we can pay it forward to others who may be in need of our help.

Exercising some faith can bring an amazing sense of calm and peace. Difficult situations are much less stressful once you accept that the Lord knows what is best and you are willing to accept His will, even if it doesn't match with your desires.

Temple sealers were right! As you and your spouse individually and collectively strive to grow closer to God, you really DO grow closer together as a couple.

Modern medicine is incredible.

Gratitude. Probably the greatest exclamation point on this whole experience is an overwhelming sense of gratitude. Holding my wife's hand, reading books to my daughter, and holding my little 3-lb boy each night all leave me with an overpowering feeling of thankfulness for my family and a God that knows and loves each of us individually.