Thursday, June 25, 2009

"All these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good"

Hey there family & friends:

It's Russ, with a rare post on this blog. But I thought I would try to be productive while I sit here in Tommi's hospital room as she rests.

Our unborn baby boy is having a tough time. Although Tommi's only 21 weeks along, he appears to have decided that it's time to come out (impatient like his father, I guess). We've been in the hospital since Tues afternoon, and yesterday morning the doctors performed a procedure on TJ that's called a "rescue cerclage." I'll let those of you who are so inclined look on WedMD or Google for the details, but suffice it to say that we've learned more than we ever wanted to know about translucent membranes, inflammed uterine walls and cervical incompetence.

I hate to use tired cliches, but he's put us on quite an emotional roller coaster over the past 72 hours. I can't say how many times this kid has "walked into the valley of the shadow of death," only to defy the odds and pull through. Without disclosing any details that might be potentially embarrassing to my wife (haha--though after the past few days she will probably tell you that she has no dignity left), the doctors have told us on several occasions that we should mentally prepare ourselves for the worst, that the odds aren't in our favor, and that if this or that happens it's "game over." But as of 10:45 am on June 26th, he's still holding on.

There have been more than a few times where we've felt like we've been bent so much we're on the verge of breaking. What does God have in store for us and our unborn son? Why might He allow us to go through so much turmoil? What are we expected to learn from all this? I don't pretend to know the answers to these questions, but I do know that the only reason a God that loves us so much could bear to watch any of His children suffer is because some stretching and bending, and perhaps some pain, is required for spiritual growth. As God said to someone who went through more trials & tribulations than most of us could fathom, "...all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good." I only hope that TJ and I can stay focused on trying to learn whatever it is that we are supposed to learn through all of this, and remain positive and faithful ... no matter the outcome.

I can't finish this post, though, without mentioning three things:

First, how amazing Tommi has been through all of this. She has been through the wringer, both emotionally and phyisically, but just keeps wiping away the tears and moving on. If this little guy stays incubated through the next few weeks, I promise that I will always remind him of what his mother went through to bring him into this world (especially during the ungrateful teenage years).

Second, how impressed I am with Gracie's resilience. Whatever we throw at this little girl, she rolls with the punches. She has become such a hit with the nurses, that each time we have a new nurse, she asks, "When am I going to be able to meet this Gracie of yours that I've heard so much about." They even dressed her up with gloves and a hair net...

And third, how grateful both Tommi and I are for such wonderful, caring family and friends, who have consciously made the decision to take this ride with us. We cannot express how appreciative we are of their love, support and the sacrifices they're willing to make for us.

20 comments:

THE GARN FAMILY said...

We are thinking of you and you will all be in our prayers. We are not that far away and would love to help in anyway we can. We love you guys!

Marianne said...

Thanks so much for the update Russ. I have been thinking about you guys lately and have wondered how Tommi is doing. We will keep praying...I wish there was more we could do... Know that we love you guys so much!!

Jac said...

I have been checking your blog frequently, hoping for an update. Although not the update I anticipated, I feel so grateful to know. We love you all so much and are putting all of the faith we have into our prayers that this little one will just hang on! We will continue to pray, to hope. Please let us know in what ways we can be helpful.

Love you!
Jac

Suzanne said...

I echo the thoughts of my sisters...we are praying for you guys, and we will keep hoping that your sweet little baby decides to stay put for a while longer! I know he is just anxious to meet his wonderful parents and big sister! I know this has been an emotional roller coaster for you from the beginning, but I know that the Lord is watching over your family. We love you!

Liz Hymas said...

I wish I could ride some of this rollar coaster for you and take some of the pain and anxiety away. Liz and I have also asked "how much bending can you take"? You and Tommi have been so amazing through this whole experience and a great example to us. We love you and are praying for you. Remember we are close enough to help, so let us know.

Unknown said...

Russ, this is a new one for you--for once you have me in tears but not through laughter! You and Tommi are amazing examples, and I wish you could know how often you are thought of and prayed for--I think you would be amazed. We love you and this little guy so much. Keep on keeping on. And keep posting on your blog--that's a great way to keep concerned family like myself informed!

Dan and Gram said...

It's so hard to see your children and grandchildren being stretched and made to bend. Know that you are not alone in this exercise. With so many prayers offered in your behalf, I know the Lord will lovingly care for each of you in the best way possible. Remember the unequaled comfort from D&C 101:16. "Therefore, let your hearts be comforted...for all flesh is in mine hands; be still and know that I am God."

Alisha said...

You are always in my prayers and will continue to be. Thanks for the update. I have been worried because I have called the family a few times with no response, but now I understand why. I love all of you! Know that whatever happens the Lord is there always.

Lindsey Jefferies said...

Our thoughts and prayers are with you sweet Tommi and Russ. We love you both so very much and wish we could bear some of this burden for you. Know that you are in the forefront of our thoughts and we are wishing you comfort in whatever outcome the Lord sees fit. Much much love from the Jefferies!

Jen said...

I've been meaning to comment for a couple of days. Sorry.

Anyway, know that we love y'all so much and you have continually been in our thoughts and prayers. I admire your strength---especially you, Tommi.

Let us know what we can do. Love you-

Bonnie said...

I find myself a bit without the right words, but my heart really goes out to you. It sounds like your priorities are already in focus, but I know that with lots of prayer you will be alright, even though things are so hard right now. What a woman, Tommi! You are doing awesome! We love you guys and will keep you in our prayers!

Misty said...

Wow. I check your blog regularly for updates, and was brought to tears by what I found today...not just b/c of the pain you must be going through, but b/c of your reactions to something so incredibly difficult. Cory and I will keep you in our prayers.

Amberlynn said...

I am heartbroken to hear that you guys are going through all of this. Please hang in there and know that you are in our prayers! We love you guys!
Love,
The Whiting Family

Jill said...

My prayers are constantly with you Tommy & Russ, and I will be hoping that things go well in the hospital. Love love love.

Beach Mommy said...

Please feel free to say the word if a family fast is going to take place... we love you both and know that Heavenly Father will be holding you tight no matter what the outcome. We'll be praying for you ~ know that

Keeping up with the Joneses said...

Oh I am so sorry for this hardship you all are going though. I've wanted to comment for some time and didn't have the rights words to say, only that I love you guys and am thinking and praying for you often. Let me know if we can help in anyway, I will be there in a heartbeat!

Unknown said...

You've been on my mind for days. So, I finally decided to take a look at your blog and see if you had updated. Then, I would send an email. Tommie, Russ, and Gracie girl... my prayers and love are with you and your little man. Lots of love and well wishes are being sent your way.

janice howard said...

Russ, remember a long time ago you said, "You can always tell Janice likes it if she cries". Well right now I'm crying like a baby. Your tender thoughts and words touched my heart. You are all in our thoughts and prayers. May the Lord bless you with peace and comfort in the days ahead.

All our love and more,

Paul and Janice

Gigi Geitgey said...

I just saw this post and it brought tears to my eyes. We love you and will pray for you and the little guy. Family is wonderful and the Church is true!!

Darger Party of 3 said...

Ok Tommi the last post from Gigi Geitgey was actually me Julie but my mom was the last one logged in Sorry for the confusion. xoxo