One year into "infertility" and six cycles of clomide on top of metformin, and I had enough. Let's just say my hormones had run amuck. Russ never mentioned having me institutionalized but I am sure the thought crossed his mind. We decided we had enough and went off medications. It was then that we decided to turn it over to God and wait.
This is not to say that it got easier for us once we decided to turn it over to the Lord. It was a real test of our faith. Both Russ and I had felt strong impressions that it was time to start our family. We struggled understanding why God would make us feel this way, but make it seemingly impossible for us to bring a child into the world.
Everything changed in early November of 2004. We recieved a call from Russ's dad explaining a situation of a girl in his parents' ward by the name of Alisha. Alisha had become pregnant during her engagement, and the young man whom she was to wed decided he couldn't be a part of it all and broke off the engagement. After much prayer, Alisha had made the difficult decision to place the baby for adoption. The way I understand it is that she prayed about giving the baby up and our names had come to mind. I had never met this girl, though I imagine that Russ's parents had shared our story with Alisha's family in passing and they thought of us as they prayed for an answer to their prayer asking the Lord with whom they should place this precious little baby. Little did Alisha know that her decision would be an answer to our prayers as well. When asked by Russ's parents, "What do you think?" I cried and told Russ, "Tell them yes, please tell them yes."
I can't put into words what it means to Russ and me to have Gracie in our home (though I imagine you have already seen from the number of blog entries about Grace that we, like many parents, are a bit obsessed with our child). There's not a doubt in our minds that Grace was meant to be in our home. And hindsight has helped this experience become an incredible faith-building tool for us. The strong impression of "it's time to start your family" which at one time was a source of great frustration to us, was the same feeling which helped us recognize that the phone call we received from Russ's parents would change the course of our lives.
I find it amazing how the Lord so thoughtfully and kindly places people in our lives years before they are ever go to be of influence. Who knew that our two families would have such an experience as this? Obviously, neither of us knew the magnitude of the other's situation. For me, there is no question that the Lord's hands guided us to one another. In the end when I think back on this experience I thank God for Alisha. I am thankful that he never left Alisha's side, he gave her the strength needed and the ability to be in tune enough with his will to make a decision so dificult, she truly is a blessing beyond belief. We love you Alisha.
13 comments:
I loved reading that story! What an amazing experiance for her to know Grace was yours all along. You are a wonderful mother and I admire you so much!! Thank you for sharing your story.
Tommi I love your honesty and your spirit. You are such an amazing person and I miss you! I saw your comment on my Facebook wall--you always make me laugh. Thanks for keeping in touch even though we're so stinking far away. And thanks for sharing your Gracie story. She is just a blessing, and I can't wait to see you both.
God has his own way of making eternal families. We are so happy that you, Russ and Gracie are a part of ours...forever!
Tommi...you are amazing. What a tough road, but what a beautiful result you have been blessed with.
You always have a way of getting me all choked up. I'll put this story right next to your conversion story and read them give me a boost when I need it. Thanks for always sharing your experiences. I've learned so much from you.
Tommi....I really really love that you posted this to your blog. It really touched my heart. Gracie was yours before you came to earth. I know that I was apart of my family before also. Grace is so blessed as are you and how grateful are we for Birth Mothers!! What amazing people they are!!
This is such a hard topic for so many sisters in our ward, myself included. It is refreshing to hear this story. I know that this wasn't all happy day's and that there have been trials associated with this but how grateful I am to you today for posting this sweet story to help me to remember the end result. I feel like as sisters we need to be telling each other of our trials and successes and to be helping each other through both. Thanks for sharing this with us. It has meant the world to me tonight.
I'm just glad that you took her. I will forever be in debt to you for becoming her mother and loving her. Thanks for being the mother that I couldn't be to her. I love you too! Tell Grace Ann I love her.
Wow, Tommi, thank you so much for posting this!! I had NO idea that you had adopted Gracie, and never would have known if I hadn't read this...you and Russ are such amazingly wonderful individuals and it is completely reflected in your beautiful daughter!!! We love you!
Tommi girl you're making me cry. Thanks for sharing your story and for the reminder on faith. I'm so glad you have Grace + that she has you.
So glad you had the chance as early as you did, in the adoption-waiting game, to start enjoying your own little baby girl. People are blessed for a reason and because they've been living a certain way. I'm sure HF couldn't wait to get you what you needed next in life. We love you guys. Now you're going have to give me some hints on working with a girl myself...boys hair is just not the problem I forsee before church that my girls hair will be:)
What a wonderful family you make. You deserve Grace, for sure, you are such an awesome mom. I am so glad things worked out for you guys with her! We miss you!
Tommi, I'm not sure if we've ever actually met, but I'm friends with Lisa...I grew up with Russ. I came across your blog through Lisa's, and just wanted to tell you how thoughtful & insightful you are. My brother, Guy, and his wife have a similar story. They adopted their first, and are now waiting to adopt again. I loved reading about your experience.
Tell Russ hi! You have a gorgeous family, by the way.
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